wtf....i hate this

i guess dats love...u juz gotta accept e flaws in e other person. but...even tho i have accepted them, understood her...i juz couldn help feeling angry lor. VERY angry to be precise. she juz made me wanna juz shout out : go to ur damn bed la!! ' and juz hang up on her lor.

i mean...its not like i wanna force her to talk to me or wad la. i had told her to go to slp lor...she insisted dat she wans to talk. fine...rushed thru my goddamn bath. and den ? -she wans to slp. -tho its not e 1st time dis is happening, i juz felt a rush of anger. goddammit!!!

sorry...but i really hate it when ppl dun respond to mi lor...juz cant stand it. its like i'm talking to a wall like dat lor. and yes, this is happening almost every night. to be precise, this is e 4th time this is happening in 5 days. too many times fer mi to talk. frankly speaking, i was already rather pissed yesterday. but i kept my cool and juz hung up. luckily she din notice it. but today, i cant control anymore. e man is angry. UGh!!!!

i mean, there are many occasions i really needed to slp. especially this week. really busy since wed and bery bery tired these days. could fall asleep almost anywhere!! believe it or not, i fell aslp in my MOPP 4 suit and gas mask under e hot sun at 11 a.m yest!!! shows hw tired i am. but i held on...all becos she said she wants to talk to me.
i rushed thru my bath today, again, all bcos she said she wans to talk. ( and mind u, i had alcohol juz now..)
and wad happened? she fell aslp. fuck. i dunno...i juz feel lousy abt it.
it juz makes me feel dat she aint putting enuff effort, unlike me. i know she doesn mean it this way, she juz cant take it. i mean, i cant expect everyone to be as tough as me rite? i dunno...haix.

i juz dun like this. really. i rather we not talk. seriously. at most juz miss each other more lor. rather den always end up like this. its nt like once or twice. juz too often for me to take it. i cant really tolerate this.

ok....i'm so angry nw...dun even feel like meeting her tml le. afraid- afraid dat i'll blow up at her. super tired...din really wanna talk de, couldn bear to disappoint my darling ( which she did otherwise ). but now, i'm too angry to fall aslp.

FUCK.




ok...bout this wk, dressed up in mopp 4 under e sun fer hrs yest. felt like i could die. warrant chong was much better den wad others make him out to be. i certainly hope he's always like dat.

yep..den did my SUV assessment today. passed w/o any trouble. haven lost any touch with e SUV yet, despite months of not touching it at all.
although i feel dat staff tan din really like me, i felt dat he held me in regard in terms of my driving skills. dats y he's selecting me out of e 6 to start refamiliarisation training and assessment first. hope his impression of mi wud change, den easier to take off on May 2nd.

unit cohesion day today, kinda ok. tot it wud suck. but chup sa kept getting food fer us. so e pissifying part abt too lil barbecue pits fer too many ppl din pose much trouble fer mi at all. yep..had a few cans of beer. SAF tiger...sucks. no effect de sia.

i really feel like drinking now. feel like grabbing beer frm my fridge to drink. at least lemme forget abt wad happened juz nw. den can slp le. but if i get drunk, i won wake up in time to meet her lor...haix. fuck la....fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!