feeling better...and great profits!! =D

laxative effect not as stronG as yest. feeling much better. altho not very well..but at least theres improvement. and dats already something worth celebrating for.

woke up at ard 10. den proceeded on to another hectic day. proceeded to dads oldest bro place. den on to mums bro place. stayed fer quite some time. and had lunch there. din have much appetite. didn wanna eat. but couldn help eating e curry...which eventually caused me to regret in e end. cos i aggravated my stomache condition. but earned alot of hongbaos there. cos there were so many ppl ard fer lunch. and so yeah... = more hongbaos!!! :D
den went to moms 5th bro place. saw a rather not so familiar man..den realised dat i forgot dat my cousin was married le...and so..hongbaos again. =D

den proceeded to dad's second sis house. rather crowded. means HONGBAOs. woohoo!!! i was quite impressed by my cousin's sons. so handsome la..they are gonna be hits among girls in e future lor. a lil ang moh look they have. so jealous la!!! argh...
den xueli jie was so interested abt my gf..yeah, dats jan. so i briefly told her abt it lor. and she was like saying, dis is ur which one ah? and den she answered herself, 'aiya..see ur pattern muz have had alot de lor'
LOL..she isn e first to say dat. some of my frens said dat to me before. gosh..do i really have dat casanova seh? i seriously dun think so. :/

her bf was there too. ok la..but i think she deserves better.
after all, she rather pretty wad.

yep..den went on to dad's 3rd sis place. stayed fer awhile before proceeding to dads 2nd bro place fer dinner. i really din have e mood for steamboat la...had diarhoea twice there and couldn help wishing dat i was at home. yep..ended up almost not eating anythinG...juz kept drinkin n drinkin n drinkin.

feeling much better now.
happy with my profits today.
talking to jan as i'm writing dis now. haven really concentrated on wad she's talking abt. and have to make her repeat several times.

sorry dear. :p

save me.....

0830 : woken up by e noisy but bubbly lion dance troupe hired by dad. ok...still enjoyed, altho i din realli show it. couldn help it..was suffering too much from my bad stomache. but at leasst e fever was gone.

1000 : left home for dads office.

1130 : went to temple to pray. prayed for one more thing this year. its abt me and my dear. -winks- ;)

den proceeded to visit 2 houses before proceeding to another temple. and we called it a day.
proceeded home. mum din wanna cook. dad was lazy to go out to buy. so he ordered pizza. and e prosperity pizza sucks big time. DUN DUN DUN try it if u haven.

after dat...even up to now, i'm still feeling sick. got e damn urge to vomit. and yeah, i hav diarhoea. lol..how great to have dat during chi new yr rite? lol.

might as well juz kill me...so torturous. lol.

having jan talkin to me rite now. so nice to hear ur voice dear. (:
u r e best.

i may not be able to come up with something like ed's thingy.
but dun worry, i trust dat i can make u smile. :D

dis sux... -pouts-

ugh...been having gastric/stomache problems ( nt sure wad or which ) since my 2 hr nap yest morning. cant be e alcohol. haven experienced trouble frm alcohol before..but den, wads wrong? farks.

been running a slight temperature yest evening. took 2 panadol pills b4 proccedin to e international fer dinner. seafd, when i'm nt feelin well..sharks. ended up eating slightly only. was dog tired after e reunion dinner. but i hung on...till abt 1. lol.
wonder hw was my dear girl's reunion dinner. hope its good..since she was lookin forward to it.. (:

i couldn believe jerry was ridiculing me with e other guys behind my back. wad e fuck. maybe i only look nerdy to NY pple. lol. except jan?? but i guess i'm juz decent lookin ba..nt as extreme to be called nerd...nor chao ah beng. could still remember wei feng was so amused dat night when i told him someone said i look nerdy. he was laughing like a hyena..and shouting, ' u nerd? look at u man..like chao ah beng sia..hw to be nerd? ' LOL. i dun like both. but i guess i can't stop wad others are thinkin. but i'm juz so damn bothered abt pple talking behind my back..and laughing abt it somemore.
but i'm lookin forward to seeing jerry agn. and see hw hypocritical he can get. i won get aggressive with him. but i'll juz play with my words. after all, i'm a wise man. cant believe it, i dunno y but as i'm writing dis, i'm smiling coyly. lol.

anyways, wads most impt is dat jan loves me can le. juz too bad if i'm really toot or chao ah beng or wad. she likes me. hahaha. i'll stay e way i am. i won change myself for pple, except jan. :)

i miss her.

MoS rox. honey, i luv u.

met up with jan in e afternoon. went dwn to reds together to get our haircut. mine looks almost e same as wad i usually do except, it cost double e amt i usually pay for at another less famous saloon. kinda disappointed. but oh wells, i believe it looks slightly better?? lol.
jan did her curls..pretty pretty. looks really like my princess le.,.haha. but it costs 200 over bucks? and 4 hrs..lol.

had dinner at mushroom pots. nice place, great food. i peeled my first prawn for jan. ( aint u lucky? ) yep. din really succeed at first, with jan having more den e prawn ( with e shell of course). but my second n 3rd attempt was P-E-R-F-E-C-T! lol...i'm gettin big headed aint i?? haha....

finished at abt 9. and realised we couldn shop nor watch movie anymore. so we decided to pop ard MoS. a plan dat we aborted a long time ago. but we decided to go, cos someone wants to flaunt her hair. although i was a lil apprehensive at first, i couldn let my princess go disappointed. ( ok la, ok la, i wanted to go too..lol )

got esmond to go with me. he's a great buddy, but not exactly someone i wanna go club with. but ok, he was quite ok. haha. and thanks to his cousin , i got a free big glass of scotch chivas coke. super cool!! tastes damn nice la..slurps. i wan more.!!!

jan spent almost all e time with me rather den her friends. she said she doesn wanna dance rnb cos too crowded. i hope dats true and nt because she doesn wan me to be left out. anyway, we went retro and i kinda liked it. rather cool. jan went yawnz quite early ...hope i din bore her out. lol...but anyway, i really enjoyed myself. n i really liked e fact dat jan was with me most of e time. :D

i could see dat jan is still quite disturbed about dat thing. she asked me not to look at her differently while we were at MoS. ok...i dunno wad to say. but i guess it'll be quite hard ba. i'll try okie?
in fact, even till just now, i was still rather disturbed by it. although e effect is less stronger on me now. but after some thinkin and sorting out on my way home. i am not very much bothered by it le. just slightly only. cos i came up with a logical reasoning ( at least i think it is..lol ). wanna hear abt it, juz ask mi. i wud tell u if u say PLEASE.. lol. ;)

yeah..wad i wanna say is, e most impt thingy is....
I LOVE U
U LOVE ME

and dats all. and dat is exactly wad we are now. :D

here i go agn..i cant fall aslp. wad e fuck. my body is gg crazy....perhaps i'm really a robot.
off i go chewing batteries le. :p

nice meeting e guys agn. :D

juz home. feeling hot from all e beer, but nt drunk at all. perfectly sober. :)

it was great to see e guys back there agn. totally enjoyed it. glad to see tian hui agn. my fellow fearless driver and kao pei mate. song bo!! haha. had a great chat with another two buddies wei qi n wei feng. well, everything is cool. besides e goddamn duty unpaid SAF tiger beer. even e thai beer tastes better..lol. drats...would be better if we had some serious alcohol like tequila, whisky or smth. shud hav brought some wine frm home over. too much at home. and as usual, e XOs at home are still waiting to be given away. i wan dad to open dem..i wanna drink..but dunno hw to ask lei. in his eyes, i'm still a boy. and i'm sure he doesn noe hw much i can drink now..lol. maybe even more den him.

out with jan today. glad she enjoyed e kaya toast dis morning. was afraid she won like it. seeing her juz made my mood better. much much better. had a talk with her. i was real glad tat she's being truthful to me.

of course..i appreciate frankness. of course, i won mind e 'P' thing. but i won say dat i'm nt affected by it. e fact dat hw far dey went sort of disturbed me a lil. dey almost went on to ____, just a wee bit more!!!
i really cant imagine dat. looks like she aint as innocent as i tot. hmm..lol.

i guess i wud be lying to say i won mind at all.. more or less feeling abit of...ugh.
i mean, which guy wud like her gf to be 'P'...by other ppl?
but i mean..its understandable ba.
well, look ard u, ppl getting into relationships as young as 12. curiousity is at its strongest throughout ur teenage yrs. i guess other ppl are more or less doin e same. yep.

of course, my clear minded mind tells mi dat i won do it. but who noes..right? there are times when u cant restrain urself.
so i guess its understandable. i'm nt e unreasonable sort.

actualy, i wanna ask more abt it... but i dunno hw. lol...oh wells. :x

in any case, i hope she doesn get too upset abt it.
i like you by wad makes u out to be.
not wad u are.

no matter wad happens, i'll always stand by you.

hugs.

- blank -

yes, she did it. she put the first drop of tear in my eye since sec 2. yes..i may sound like a wussy, but i gotta admit...tears welled up in my eyes when she told mi she's nt gonna make it fer v day cos of work. of course, i quickly ended e conversation and proceeded to wipe em off before they drip outta my eyes. gosh..i really couldn believe it...tears..haven seen em fer quite some time. man...

i wud be lying to say i'm nt upset. but i'm definitely not angry. i understand. she's gotta work.
and if she ask to change dis change dat when she haven even started work, might nt reflect well on her.

yep..i dunno y i'm takin so hard. its just v day wad. just another day. another date. but my heart wrenched when i heard e news. i dunno y.
i guess bcos i was kinda thinkin abt it since 1 mth ago? and i had been askin fer off on feb 14 since almost 1 mth ago as well and pple were kinda sayin dat i was so anxious. yep..dat was hw far i went to make sure i got to celebrate it with her. i went ALL OUT.

and i had even been thinkin of hw i'm gonna make it a perfect evening. had lotsa ideas. but fortunately, no plans yet. if nt i dunno hw i'm gonna take it if i had already arranged everything. have been trying very hard to come up with a surprise. no need fer dat nw.

oh wells, seems dat she doesn hav e habit of celebrating v day de..yep. so i guess she din rmb to remind her manager even tho i dropped occasional hints ( which might nt be obvious enuff ) to her. well, if its ok with her to give it a miss, i guess i won have much to say. she shud juz go fer work lor...won hav a nice evening if i force her. guess it juz isn impt to her ba...

and guess wad..i might be spending it in camp..lol. i guess its gonna be much of a surprise to e others. i mean, i really dun see e point of meeting her at 10 at night when almost every single place is closed le.wad can we do? juz sit dwn and stare at each other? i dunno..haix...

i'm very confused nw. my mind is in a blank. it seems she hasn msged me back. hope she isn feeling stressed or wad. cos i am definitely feeling much more stressed up den her. my normally quick thinkin mind which provides me with a proper analysis and plans seems to have left my body. my heart feels sore.

looks like e long run to parkway parade via east coast park hasn done much to make me feel better. leaving me with two ultra sore calfs which are on e verge of cramping soon. u wud never believe hw fast i ran. guessed i juz pushed myself a lil too hard.
found e pasta fresca place at e park le..but i guess i won need to noe anyway.

its all dat sheena , sheela or wadeva mother fuc*ing hualala's fault. got no cow sense. damn her.

i dunno..i need someone to talk to now..feeling kinda lost now. dun feel like doing anything. dun even wanna think of anything bout meeting jan tml and fri le..kinda sian diao le.

i'm afraid i wud wanna cry agn if i tok to jan. haix..i shudn have been dat cold to Al when she msged me dat day. she wud lend a nice listening ear to me. :(
was i wrong to make jan e only girl in my life?

i've been trying very hard to be a nice bf. trying to be better den e others before me.
but i've juz realised, i'm still a childish , wilful , selfish and useless boyfriend.
maybe she juz deserves better. :(

...

:(

haven touched my phone since i went out to run. nt sure if she replied me. i dunno wad i expect her to say if she replied. dun wanna see. but i really hope she did reply. sighx.

my parents SUCK. miao~

hey guys..its me agn. e grouchy fella whos gonna rant and rant and RAnT agn. so if u folks dun wanna listen ( or rather read ) kindly juz F*CK off.

yes yes..i booked out, so here i am. i informed mom bout 35 mins b4hand to pick me up at 1730. and u noe wad? she called mi at 525 to say dat she just left house. i mean..hell..wads e pt of informing dem earlier? and wad made me furious was e Xcuse she gave.. ' daddy brought frens home, his car blockin mine..cannot come out.' and she said dad said, ' if he cant wait , come home himself la!'
bloody hell..i cant believe dis.
ok..so lets say i accept dat excuse..den why cant she make an effort to call n inform mi earlier? den i can slowly change in camp and not wait so long at e humid and mosquito infested bus stop.
F**K

i bet if its sis, dad would immediately rush dwn to pick her up lor.
i cant stand dis biasness...
damn.

oh wells, gonna be a busy day tml i tink. most prob meetin jan on thurs instead. lol..

MIAO MIAO!
hey dear, thanks for listening to all my whines and complains. i really dunno wad i wud be if not for ur comforting words which instantly eases me..kinda reduces my anger dwn by half.
u were always there for me.
U ARE SUCH A DARLING.

role play - tourists - part 2

went to occ after i woke up. tried practicinG after weeks of golfless life. i can tell u, i'm gonna give up dis damn sport soon. i cant play golf fer nuts le la.. dunno when things are gonna look up for me. :( do i really have to wait till ORD before i can tune back my game??

den met my darling near her house.. den proceeded to little india as tourists...and we went by lrt!! my first LRT ride in my life. nothing spectacular..but nevertheless, still excited. as expected , lil india dun have much to offer , besides indians. lol. not long after , we were off to queensway shopping centre lo...( after my suggestion, hehe ) din get wad i really wanted to buy..but bot a pair of basketball shorts at 28 bucks..quite a catch i think. haix..din buy e shorts i want to buy, guess i'll just make do with e one i have at home ba..

den proceeded to changi airport by train. once again, my FIRST time. kinda sad actually, i have been living ard tis area for so long and i had to have someone living in e north to bring me..lol. yup..i agree with jan. e station at e airport looks great. juz reminds me of e hong kong airport lor.
den, i took e skytrain..yep. my first again. never had to travel betwn terminals, e cab always does e work.

kinda wonderful. did 3 FIRST times in my life today. haha.

had dinner at e airport's fish n co. and as usual, it never fails to leave me ultra *burps~* yep....had to draw money. den suddenly realised i have been taking too much money outta my bank. yes dear, i guess i finally gotta agree with u le.. we gotta go on a budget. :( haix...when is dad paying me back for my phone??

i feel really sorry for almost making my dear girl cry yest..and i din even noe.
and my blog, she read it. and she lied to me agn. i dun blame her. she prob wans to listen to wad i realli tink. but oh wells, i feel a lil selfish la.
but anyways, LOVE IS SELFISH. right? haha.

anyway, din do much today. but i still pretty much enjoyed myself. i hope she does too. i'm trying very hard to make her happy everytime i'm out with her . and i want her to be happy.
i want to make her smile.

time to slp. my darling shud be aslp by now.
nitex ppl.

4.5 hrs to wakey wakey.
6 hrs to book in.

323 days to ORD.

i HATE army life.

disappointed. --- :(

i think jan has fallen aslp le..i could have guessed so when she din reply. :(
but i couldn help but to call her anyway.. call mi selfish..i dunno.
i eventually turned dis darn com off and tried to slp.
i realised i couldn.
fark.

gotta admit i was rather disappointed when jan fell aslp.
yes..i noe i noe..its my fault dat she's so tired...i MADE her run..ya..slaps myself. lol

but..u noe, i was so tired dat i slept my whole bus ride home. but i agreed straightaway when she wanted to talk.
yeah,i mean..fer mi , i would find means to kp myself awake whenever i cud get a chance to talk to jan no matter hw tired i am. i wud give up anything juz to have a word with her.
so i mean, its a lil hurting ya...
maybe i aint dat impt to her anyway..

it kinda got me thinkin in bed just now...
i dunno if i regret steppin into dis relationship.
i luv her
i luv her smile
i luv e way she pokes and tickles me
i luv e way she pouts her mouth
i luv her everything.

but this is too much for me to take i guess..
cant help feelin stressed. i dunno, i mean hw do u expect me to feel when ur gf's frens dun like you? i really dunno. i mean...gotta think in e long run rite?
and when u noe somebody else is trying to woo ur gf?
and when she lets go of my hand abruptly when she sees her bro or her bro's gf ...
i understand dat its a lil pai sei la...but..haix..u noe...fer a split sec, kinda makes me feel like i'm unpresentable ya noe.
of course i noe u dun mean dat, but i wud juz feel so.

too late. i cant just step out now. i'm totally into this le.
i guess this is just a test for our new born relationship.
1 mth 3 days. and look at wad i have become...
a love sick fool.

i cant cant cant sleep now. i'm realli addicted le...
gonna juz try to sleep. hecks if i cant. i'll juz stare into space. hw i wish i can juz remove my brain fer e night. i dun wanna think anymore.

***** tis entry is all abt my selfish tots, e other side of me i'm so unwilling to show. but hecks.gotta unwind or i'll blow... ***************************************************************************************

shit..wad have i done..i shudn have posted dis entry. but i'm feeling much better after some ranting. hope my dear girl doesn feel offended. but this are my innermost feelings dat i really dun wan u to noe..but oh wells.. i shant delete it...dun wanna waste my effort.

i'm still in a dilemma..to post or not to post?
to post or not to post?
to post or not to post?




FUCK LA...JUZ POST IT U DAMN WIMP!

planning certainly does help..abit ..haha

had planned our activities well ahead before we went out today.

went joggin with jan ard seletar area in e morning, after my duty. den ate prata before bookin out after a bath in camp. dad n mom din wanna come fetch me..all bcos of sis agn. i really cant stand dis biasness le..in a fit of anger, i decided to juz cab home. and told myself i won hold myself on spending today. i may sound spoilt..sound like a wastrel or wadeva....but if anything is wrong with dat, den i can only say my parents are forcing me to do so. I CANT STAND DEM!!

but too bad..jan didn get enuff clothes. seems dat e female depts haven been getting new arrivals..lol.

i gotta admit i was a lil ..i wudn say weird..but listless maybe, at first. cos it suddenly set mi thinkin whether jan wud one day tell mi she dun wan me le.. cos of e phone issue la.
but i reassured myself dat she definitely isn takin this relationship lightly and must have tot seriously before agreein de ma...right?
lol..but haix..really shudn be thinkin of such things when i'm out with her..these stuff are for me to think of when i have nothin to do. lol

had toast ..and we shared a smoke turkey sandwiche. both me and jan agreed dat it tasted much better den e last time we ate it. and shared a joy smoothie.
no choice la...on budget..lol.
den can shun bian jian fei.

yep...bought my shoes..tho not exactly e pair i was eying for quite some time..but was not bad, and jan liked it. i trust her taste..as well as mine..so yep. i got it!
ad bot my belt..rather unique belt...but certainly exceeded my budget by 20 bucks fer it. had expected myself to pay ard $50 rather den e $70 i paid fer it. nevertheless...yippeee!!!

had our choc drinks and shared a choc muffin before proceeding to cine fer Memoirs oF a Geisha. seems dat jan already knew e story le..dunno whether she enjoyed it or not.. i think it was not bad..but i was so tired i almost fell asleep at e end..haha.
e show was like 2 n a half hrs...i really dunno hw jan is gonna survive another 2 times watching it..surely gonna be sian de wad..lol

den proceeded home. and everyone was aslp le..no one giving a damn fuck about e absence of me in e house. no phone calls msgs or whatsoever. like wad i said, it doesn make a diff to dem la...fark.

jan wants to talk..but she hasn responded to my msg..guess she's aslp le..lol.
shud i call her? hmmm....

i feel so bad today when u said i was weird.
din mean to be so..
but i hope dat it din spoil ur mood today.
and i hope u still enjoyed urself.

its probably due to my own insecurities ba.i dunno. pouts.

happy wed..boring thurs..lol

talkin to u has almost become a daily routine to me.
e need to see u has almost come to a daily basis.
i need an antidote..too high on this drug..dat is U. :p

oh wells, met jan yest night fer dinner. had to come out late due to a last minute detail arranged for me this morning. i was damn pissed..can u imagine bathing halfway and preparing to book out to meet ur dear girl when someone tells u dat u have to go dwn to ETC to collect ur vehicle?
and i sweated like mad..ugh.
i realli cant stand dem..always up with last minute stuff..in e afternoon, i was at e 35 SCE mess when dey called me, saying dat they need me to for detail..immediately...wad e fuck..and i had to brisk walk under e damn hot sun back to 39 SCE. sweated like hell..
only 1 phrase to describe e system there...FUCKED UP!!!

oh wells, back to dinner last night. jan is really really helpin me to save some money and i really really appreciate dat. :) suggested eating @ a hawker in yishun. had dis chicken rice which was damn cheap..and good. u could say i walked out of there feeling more satisfied den i expected myself to be. (: and of course..i enjoyed being with jan. (:
went to northpoint fer a while to walk walk and kill time. of course, i could have gone back to camp..but i juz want abit more of her company..even if its 1 more second, i'll be happy.

todays detail ended early..sux big time..den i could have not taken over dis detail.
fucked up. :x
den talked to jan over e phone. just feels so good to just hear her voice. i have been saying i miss u less often to her these days..not bcos i dun. its because i miss her too much dat i dun feel like saying it le...makes me feel miserable to say so. :(

had to come home myself today. no one free enuff to pick me up. damn it..so troublesome la...
actually, for a sec, i had this urge to meet jan instead. but oh wells, she isn hungry..no pt gg fer dinner right. but i really really miss her lei.. :(
anywayz..i'll endure and brace myself thru tml. and i'll see jan once more!! :)

there are juz so many things waiting for us to do.
and they are only for me to do them with you. :)

duty duty.. :(

did duty on sunday, damn borinG!!! couldn stand it..was missing jan lots...having nothing to do just made it worse. couldn stop thinking of jeremy, dunno y..he isn a threat to me..i'm confident of myself...but i guess i juz couldn help feeling uncomfortable about it...yup..
i mean..i dunno. watched cartoons and had 15 min naps e whole day till night. chatted with jan.. and i guess dat was already e best part of dat day le.
din have as much fun as i tot i wud with my new phone. cos i was afraid of wasting too much batt. but my batt went flat while tokin to her anyway.
and i had a weird dream dat night.... >.< ( u noe wad i'm talking abut, lol )

met jan yest during my nites out.
went to amk fer dinner with jan. had wanted to budget..but..haha..din mangage to do it of course... :P
and guess wad, my first time having fast food with jan. had KFC..couldn help feelin fat la..lol. but was ok la...
at most juz exercise harder lor...haha.
u dun noe hw happy i felt after my nites out with her .. it juz made me feel so much more lighthearted and all. made me feel like i was ready to collect all e shit thrown to me lor..haha. yep. (:

booked out at 430 today
stayin out tonight. ( of course , if not y would dis entry be ard ? )
bookin in by 0730 tml.
hopefully meet jan tml nite. (:

n yep..i ran today..ard 6 km ba..maybe more. running much slower den i was last time..shit. ran all e way to east coast park. ( all thanks to jan fer doing e recce with me. ) :)
guess its bcos of e lack of exercise ba...juz this run alone is making me feel so so so tired now...lol.

just ended e conversation with jan.really reluctant to hang up..but got no choice..tired.
must be e run lor.. frankly speakin..i'm having trouble keeping myself awake to put up dis entry lor...

Zzzzz..nitex ppl. and most imptly..nite..my dear princess. luv ya lots. =)

Die...i'm sinkin very very deep into dis. but i'm happy. (:

met jan on thurs, before she went to church. actually , i kinda kept e book with her..e main purpose was so dat i could meet her dat day.
i dunno y, but a day w/o being able to see her feels like hell to me. lol.
had indian cuisine at dis place near her church. not bad. but we were like e only patrons...
makes me wonder how dey survive...lol

den met jan on fri. after i booked out. had to make her wait damn long for me..cos i err..ya la.had to wash up and stuff..shud have called her later...lol
den went to katong fer laksa...BUDGET wad...remember? haha. nevertheless..enjoyed e meal..had not eaten it since e times with brandon n co.
and YES!!! -hops ard- I BOUGHT MY W800i LO!!! hahaha..excited lor...my dream phone lei!! nice functions, nice colour. yesh!!!
sent her home...and jeremy called. lol.. of course , i shudn give a damn abt dat...
but...aiya..more or less will feel abit suan suan de...
guess dats hw i'm supposed to feel anyway..rite?

met jan today. after e goddamn standby bed. had to wait 45 mins fer her. guess we're quits. haha..but it was damn hot la...gotta admit i was a lil pissed. and felt a lil sian diao le...at 1 pt i was so hot i wanted to just take a cab and go home. but all these emotions kinda disappeared when i saw jan. u just make my day la... (:
tried to go on budget today. but of course..failed. more on my part la..din really wanna make ourselves suffer. i can go on a budget myself. but i dun wan jan to do it with me. i won wan my darlinG to suffer with me. bot lotsa stuff at candy empire. i mean dats alot if i wanna eat all tml la...haha. -glutton-
den had dinner at my place. kinda sad...e staff there couldn recognise their boss anymore. we actually had to queue!! -winks- (:
think it was ok la.. and not very ex also...middle range la..cheaper den our usual meals le...haha.
1ST STEP TAKEN!!!
den went shoppin with jan... she kept thinkin i wud be sian. but actually , i rather enjoyed myself lor..it made me understand her more..like her tastes and all...and also more abt female clothings..lol
went to coffee bean...saw quincy's dad..and quincy. lol..wad is quincy doing in town with his dad on a sat?? anywayz..had ultimate..same as jan..altho i very much wanted white choc dream..but i really need caffeine..lol
and den wad...JEREMY CALLED AGAIN. wanted to pick up e phone fer jan..but she picked it up le..lol. dunno wad e hell i'm worryin abt lor. I'm confident of myself..i trust myself..and most importantly...I TRUST HER. but..i guess u juz cant sit ard and dun care when u noe some other guy is interested in ur gf. and keeps calling her. i dunno...but for me, i cant la...but i shouldn worry anywayz..

jan
jan
jan...
i'm a lil moon revolving ard u.
haha..sounds familiar? (:

i dunno la..i guess its now my turn to be insecure le.. guess i was taking her fer granted ( a lil la ) at FIRST..but now..no way man. i'm sinking too deep into this relationship.. i'm getting afraid. i cant think of a day w/o her. hope dat day doesn come..but if it does..u juz gotta let go ba...lol.

i juz read her blog. whole lot of things i dun understand. but i guess i'm like her. i'm trying very hard to restrain myself..but at times..especially when i'm with her..i really really cant control myself. i love her too much. call me crazy lovesick or wadeva..i dun care.

i'm willing to give up anything juz to spend a second with her. even if its my life.

extra tml..sian..my sundays gone. no golf at all dis wkend.. shucks. gotta do smth abt dis.. my aspirations are gettin too far away. seems unreachable now. but hecks..jan is my everything now.

weeps...i want my phone. ): and i want to spend more time with jan. ):

din manage to run..weather didn permit me to. but i did 50 crunches instead. might not be enuff to be effective, but heck..i did something at least.. right ? ;)

played a lil maple.. 18% more to lvl 25!

den headed to bugis with dad mom and bro to get my new phone...and to collect my altered shirt. i was damn disappointed. first , i need to sign a new plan and change my number to get e extra privilages. den i cant buy my phone.. its out of stock!!! fark.

den dad and mom wanted to go to e temple at bugis street. din wanna follow dem. but i went anywayz cos i wasn sure wad time jan wud be done. but once i manged to squeeze past e crowd in bugis strt..she called. lol. so i made a snappy prayer and rushed dwn to town. still had to make her wait 20 mins.. ):

i must admit e day wasn well planned. we shudn have headed to have a drink cos it was almost dinnertime le..but we did.. and prob it was bcos she was tired and it was RAINING! yes..again..ugh. i wan e rain at nite..not in e day lor... ):

had a drink at project shop..and e double choc fudge cake was...MMMMMM!! n-i-c-e!!!
i tink i'm on project get fat rather den slim dwn lor..haha. but who cares..as long as i'm with jan..i dun care. (:

den couldn possibly go fer dinner after dat ma...so i tried to buy my damn phone in paragon...guess wad..outta stock also. asked at cine...outta stock too.. dunno wad e hell is going on..W800 so popular meh???

met a pervert at e paragon toilet today..he was lookin at mi pee?!!! gosh..wad is e world too..peeping at my dick.. and he was still in there for so lng after i came out. left with jan le...he's stil in there?!!!
wonder hw many men gonna fall prey to his...'expeditions' le...LOL

yep..back to cine..couldn decide wad to do...so guess wad... YES...we ended up singing ktv. 3 hrs..till 11. jan finally heard mi sing..so pai sei at first. >.<>.< she said i sang well..pai sei lei..lol. i never tot i sang well..no one praised me before till i went into army. which made me much more confident.. but i still tink i'm ok only la...
could still vividly rmb mi being de 'song god' in bmt lor..haha

hmm..maybe if more ppl praise me..i wud really put miself into one of thse dumb singing competitions. (:

and yep..here i am..short day with jan. ): wished we had more time..but i won noe wad to do either. lol. but yep.. still glad dat i met her today.

haix..stupid detail tml. duty dis sun n nxt fri. sun bk in sat bk out. wearing green just SUCKs big time.. :(

I'll miss u.
miss u
miss u

MISS YOU!!!

was happy...but i'm a lil sad now.

golfing at 7 plus under a windy storm yestersay morning. managed only 9 holes..couldn take it. i was drenched..and e wind juz kept coming...and i was gg BRR.... yup. wondered wad james was thinkin when he said he wanted to play...lol. rather crazy idea to go ahead and play in that kindof weather if u ask mi,.. LOL

wanted to meet jan fer awhile yest..but it turned out dat she aint workin e afternoon shift anymore. yep..so i cancelled my plans on meeting dad in bugis and proceeded with my evening with jan. met her at suntec..den we procceded to Changing Appetites again to heal her hungry stomache..and of course..to satisfy my cravings for e nice drinks and desserts there. slurps . :p

i had my buttered garlic prawns and jan had her fried stingray. prawns were nice. stingray wasn spectecular. but was okay. and e chocolatey drink we had..kinda disappointing..not bad..but not as great as i expected it to be. and we had dis mudpie called heaven in ur mouth. wud be nice if not fer e name..cos it made it sound so spectacular..and it din live up to its name. but was nice la..tasted a lil bit of rum in it ..not sure if i was imagining things.

watched elizabeth town at cine. managed to catch e 700 show after gg in slightly late. good choice. actually i kinda expected it to be rather boring ? but it was good. interesting. and kirsten dunst looked rather good in it too..haha.

took e neo print kinda thingy. had intended to take e card version..but oh wells, i din tell jan..so ya..kinda fun. but e pics werent great..lol. in fact i suck in them. but who cares..i only wanna see jan..not myself.haha

fell asleep on jan's shoulder while sending her home. i gotta admit...her shoulders were really quite comfy to me. definitely much more comfy den mine..lol.

And yes... SHE FOUND OUT!! >.<
yar..she found out about my lil hidden tummy under my clothes. ugh..so pai sei lor. gotta get rid of it la..but how?

reported to unit with a light hearted feeling dis morning. only to realise dat bunk inspection by RSM at 1730. dat means...no early dismissal!! FUCK! so passed time by doin nuthin..

makes me feel so frustrated wasting my life away like dat. but fortunately , jan was ard to chat with me on e phone.. (:

Just when i was about to leave , andy told mi i got detail to e range on wed morning. 0700 ..so early!! dat means i gotta book in at 2230 tml nite. mind u, i'm on standby and i aint supposed to be able to go for detail de...but they said nvm..standby they will tok to my force commander. FUCK>... i dun wanna book in tml nite.
so i called lt ron to settle e issue. and he allowed mi to book in on wed morning instead. but i still gotta wake up damn early. den wad about meetin jan tml nite?

damn..nvm..i'll sort things out and think of something.
:x

'its so nice to just spend time with u' ...yepyep..MI TOO!! (:

booked out at 3 yesterday. deep in my heart , i really really wanted to ask my darling out de. but it seems dat she severely lacks slp. so i din..she offered to accompany me to bugis, i rejected e offer too. cos i was sure i could juz endure fer 1 more day. (:

went bowling @ OCC..was sad to realise dat members cant pay by charging to e account anymore..so sad..have to pay miself le...
anywayZ, bowled like crap. managed only 130+ nia...can someone juz kill me? its so hurting to realise dat after training back to my old standard , and after some lack of practice , my standard has gone back to ---- SHIT. totally shitty.
den went to e range to pound some balls. SAME..golf was shit too..after not touching my golf clubs fer abt 2 weeks since my last lesson. but after some pondering , i tink i finally managed to figure out wad luke was trying to get me to do. and my ball striking was ok. so u can say i went home feeling rather satisfied. (:

talked to jan last night. seems dat jerry is rather ermm..dunno alsoo lei. like he's pressurising jan dat she isn giving her frens enuff attention like dat ba..but at least he feels ok to me..lol. unlike edward. seriously speaking , i dunno wad edward is unhappy with me about. i haven even tok to him before..how to offend him sia. but as jan says , he's like a bro who feels like no one is ever good enuff for his sis?? i guess dats rather true ba..cos i remembered choo tried to jio my sis fer a period of time...i was strongly against it. he's s'pore's no.1 amateur golfer..but i still feel he isn good enuff..( looks a lil fat to mi ) yeah..hmm..but i don hate him..do i ? LOL..

wadeva la..i guess i won take it to heart ba..haix..cos if i do, i think it'll be quite hard for jan. of course, i'm upset dat her good frens won accept me , but..after some thinking , jan should be e one who is upset. i will try not to mention dis issue in front of her agn...i really think its very difficult for her lor. :(

yepyep..woke up @ 1 o clck today..and i was like shit..less time to spend with my dear jan le... Yup...so i met her in town at 3. seriously couldn think of wad we cud do le lor..s'pore is so boring. but who cares..as long as i can spend time with her..i dun give a shit about anything else.

yep..went in search of mushroom pot. and guess wad? i saw w freakin nike bag dat i was hesitant to buy in taiwan. and its retailing like 20 bucks MORE here? damn..shud have bot it dere...lol. i felt so UGH...
started raining friggin heavily when we were abt to proceed to lido..bought a cheap lookin umbrella..( ermm ok, it was cheap..5 bucks onli ) but decided to wait fer e rain to subside in TCC ( near centrpoint de) lol... i guess dats wad happens when a slightly shao ye boy and a slightly xiao jie girl gets together. hahaha.
but dun worry ok..i'll try my best to take care of her. YES i WILL. (:

den proceeded to cine to check out my shoe..damn..e shoe i wanted wasn there. and e most similiar one i could get was a female one. lol. i immediatly sian 1/2 lor..how sia..i even bot shirt to go with e shoe le..damn. den checked out e timin fer elizabeth town. lol..e most probable time we cud catch was 905. but jan gotta go home early..gotta work tml. shit...how i wish i had my licence lor...den can send her home..den no nd to consider this worry dat le..

so proceeded to sakae fer dinner. quite shuang to eat sushi at first. was rather enjoyable..and we had planned to eat so much more. but we couldn..cos jan and i were too full le...and den jan din feel very well..err..yeah..and she looked so pale lor..how i wish i cud help..i felt so useless then. but oh wells..

went home rather early. i also feel so happy to just spend time with her. juz so happy. (:
and once agn... I'M MISSING HER ALREADY.

hope i can make it to suntec to meet her tml. my dear princess..hope she will feel better tml.
hope dad goes with me to bugis tml, den can buy my phone....i hope so.
hope i will play fine in e golf game with james tml...i hope i shoot ard e low 80s can le..dun expect much..

haix.life is full of HOPE.
lol..

heh heh..

made to be standby force 2 today. forced to takeover today at e very last minute once i woke up..? lol..SAF..undecisive force. so dat means i won be able to do duty dis week! looks like doing standby aint dat bad anyway. but but but..heard some things are gonna go on this weekend. i'll still burn my sunday!! but i wud most prob get off fer dat. (: things gg fine fer me at e moment. i hope it carries on.
wasted 48 hrs of my life in camp sleepin my youth away. i'm gonna regret e time wasted in unit 10 yrs dwn e road lor. not enuff time fer my frens, my family and most imptly, my darling.

anywayz, this means dat i wud be able to see jan on sat. sometimes i wonder if i take up too much of her time... hey, if u have other plans like having to meet ur frens or wad must tell mi ok? dun neglect ur frens bcos of me hor.. (:

and ya, spent ard 45 mins talkin to her juz now. u dunno wad effect dat has on me lor, i juz feel so much more... relaxed? i dun need many hrs of chattin with her actually , a lil while a day cud juz brighten up my day..haha. and yep..she's back at work now. hope she's doin fine..and those dumb managers can stop pickin on my princess...lol.

shit..juz gt msg frm ming di dat got OC parade tml at 730..gotta wake up early? lol.fuck. hope dat it'll be short and sweet ah..dun wanna sweat lor...and great..i sent my uniforms to e tailor. and i'm juz left with my fuck 4. damn...but i guess dats a valid reason for not puttin up my smartest 4?? we'll see..

its wed wed wed!! 1 more day to book out day. 2 more days to saturday. -winks-

time is passing so slowly...yawns

role play...----tourists

went out with JT and co. expecting fer lunch at hotel excelsior...turned out dat with no reservations, we couldn get seats, cos it was full house..lol. damn..singaporeans so rich ah? but heck la..shud have went in shorts...cos jt turned up in shorts and slippers???? for a meal at a hotel? a lil inappropriate..but i guess as long as wallet have money can le..who e fuck cares rite?

den met jan at chinatown. rather interestinG..acting as tourists, exploring a place which we dun have any idea of. but e rain spoilt our plans..so we had to make other plans after awhile in chinatown. but of course..found out a lot of places to eat there. if free, next time can go try..lol.

yep...and we were sorta stranded, so we juz anyhow took a bus and stopped.lol..fun. den we decided to make do with e available buses at clarke quay to decide on our next destination. decided on 12..either make our way to tampines or my area-- upper east coast. had wanted to bring jan to try e big fish or grill fish or something la..heard its quite nice de..but oh wells, CLOSED ON MONDAYS..hell. and so, we started on adventure no.2--- making our way to east coast park. kinda shameful to say this but after staying her fer abt 15 yrs, i dun exactly know how to get to east coast park. brief idea only. so i dragged jan along on bus 11 there. kinda warm..not sure if she could take it. but nevertheless, i was happy.

ate at e giant food centre there. usual stuff..stingray,sotong and additional oyster omelette. but i love it..haha. den we walked and walked and walked all e way to marine cove for e bus. e rain spoilt everything, if not would be nice to juz sit ard and feel e breeze and talk. lol. anywayz, e bus ride home with jan just feels so fast.

time passes so fast. was reluctant to let her go home. but..oh wells. our 20th date huh? feels like i've known her fer ages.
gonna sleep le...i'll miss u my dear.

my cure...lol

just when i was gettin vexed..gettin sian. she came online.
talked to me.
and i cant teel u how much lighter my heart is feeling now.
just feeling so much better.

finally seen her blog le..after her lookin at mine fer quite some time. din wanna kaypo de. but since she gimme...i see lor. :p
err..but one thingy i read...edward makes a good temporary boyfriend?!
LOL.

have been writing so much today..haha. guess this is gonna be e last for today.
e first day of e year.
a beginning for us. (:

happy neW year pple!!! woohoo!!

CHEERS.

ugh...wads wrong with me?

lol..i seriously think i got a bit of problem la..diin sleep a wink last night and i'm not feeling sleepy? wad e fuck. and could onli manage 1.5 hrs of sleep this morning. hell..is it my body? or is it just too many things in my mind?

feelin weird..i wanna go out. when i have juz came home. i just cant keep my butt at home la..dunno y. and e prob is, i dun wanna call my frens, i'm only interested in meeting my darlinG. lol...wads up with me.
i think e prob with mi now is dat i'm sian.. but dun feel like gg out..but definitely wun mind gg out with her..
yupyup..dats wat i'm thinkin..haha.

there are some things i want to say to her..but i dunno if i shud. heck..i'll see how..lol.

its been a few hrs only, its like i've juz seen her this morning la..and i'm missing her already. damn..i'm sinking in too deep le la...is this good? ....or bad. despite wad i'm feeling now, i wonder if she's feeling e same. LOL. guess she shud be too tired to think of so much now.

oh wells, at least i got my wallpaper to look at if i'm missing her. (:
and i'm munching on e happy hippo chocs she's giving to mi.
my handphone is full of her msgs.
jan
jan
jan....

lol.

SIAN. maybe i shud juz get ah guan out to play pool. but kinda not worth it to play today...damn!! wad can i do?????

Happy NeW yeaR ~

yep..i'm back home...just only..and yet to have my bath yet. but surprisingly, i'm not tired at all..quite energetic in fact. and since its still so early, i actually feel like gg out for a run now...LOL?! funny sia my body...

as expected, we din manage to get into MoS laz nite. and trust me, u can really get turned off by e queue..in fact e queue is sCARY!!! wah lao eh..all e way over e river..reach e road liao...and there's still ppl having hopes of gettin in?

wasted a whole lot of money on transport today. depleted about 10 over bucks on my EZ link card juz to take train? wad e fuck..might as well cab rite? lol. yep..so we went over to chinablack instead. trust me, i actually had a hard time psychoing dem to black. no choice, i gotta go meet my dear darlinG. i promised her. i WILL do it. i dun make promises easily, but once i do, i'll hold it. i'm a man of my word. jun wei din join us, waited at MoS..great. cos he din get in before 12. so i went ahead with elias and his slightly despo fren Mc T...lol..even e name sounds weird. we reached early, lil ppl ard, atmosphere wasn up and Mc T was a lil pissed..and i was feelin guilty at first. and i was kinda glad jan and her frens were ard ? cos at least we won be like 3 guys dancing,weird.

but but but!! on e other hand, i was a lil pai sei with jan and her frens ard, i must have malu'ed myself with my awful dancing. so embarrassin lor... >.< ugh..shouldn have danced ard them la...SHIT. anyway, kinda shiok, cos i actually felt a lil giddy after a couple of drinks. had been some time...haha. too bad, elias isn into drinkin, or i'll try to get a bit drunk lor. Mc T was totally gone la, couldn even stand on his own. lol

but after today, i kinda realised dat i'm gettin worried about jan clubbin so often le. firstly , her heart hurts. today it seems dat she was sufferin frm so much pain, it hurts me to see so, and yet i couldn do anythin to help. :(
2ndly, e pple ah...i guess i wasn dat worried before cos i din see it with my own eyes. or i guess it juz didn strike me when we are ard other gals. but i cant stand e idea of other guys tryin to ..ahem ahem. ya...and dat Ian fella ah..Argh..grind grind grind...fuck. juz go grind his own dick off a stone slab la...damn.
and of course, jan asked mi if i was jealous if she kept dancing with edward, i wasn at first..but i wud be lyin if i said i wasn. in fact, after she asked me, i felt a tinge of jealousy in me. but wad can i do? its her fren ma..and also, blame it on me not being a good dancer? :(

yep, accompanied jan home. i juz wanted to accompany her la..e roti prata thingy was juz an excuse..
In fact, frankly speakin, i felt abit left out when she was leavinG with her frens ..but i guess yar la..after all its her frens ma..she cant neglect them also right? dunno how to explain also la...lol.
had prata with elias den proceeded to e bus stop at abt 6. and we waited and waited and waited. NO sign of 168. and i tot 168 wasn operating. so we waited for like 45 mins and den we realised e first bus' arrival time was supposed to be at 651. lol..should have wasted more time at e prata place.

and ta da..here i am.

overall, it was ok la..rather enjoyable..definitely better den last yr, with jan ard me..yup. but still....PAI SEI LA....argh.

i wonder how jan's gonna survive today. church..den shoppin..den clubbin agn? i hope she doesn go. ( abit selfish? ) cos got ian ard too..and its a lil crazy la..to chiong 2 days in a row.

my dear jan ah..plz take care. guess she shud be sleeping soundly now. maybe i shud call er rain fer her.
- concentrates with eyes closed-